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The UN Is Being Killed By Guterres And His Team As From Cameroon To China Rosewood Flows

A Cautionary Tale By Matthew Russell Lee
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UN GATE, Dec 28 – The lobby of the United Nations still had the veneer of futurist cool, but upstairs it has all gone rotten. It was to the penultimate story that lobbyist Daniel Lang was headed that day, not to meet the top man Fat Tony Guterres but his African fig-leaf deputy Amina J. Mohammed.

    The two were equally corrupt, she having signed and backdated thousands of export certificates for endangered rosewood from Cameroon already shipped to China for the over-classes bed frames and other furniture. But it was this Cameroonian connection that Lang hoped to play on today.

   Amina Mohammed's factotum Nelson Muffuh, who had worked for her at the Nigerian Ministry for the Environment and Sustainable Development as well, approached lobbyist Lang in the lobby.   

"Ah, Daniel," Muffuh said in the faux French style for which the UN has known. "I trust you got through security alright?"

    In fact Daniel has seen a man with a big backpack being taken out of the line in front of him, loudly demanding why he as journalist was being barred and calling Guterres corrupt as he was ushered back out only First Avenue.

      "It was alright," Lang answered, eager to get up to the 38th floor and make his pitch to Mohammed before the interns started drinking in the UN Delegates Lounge at 5 pm. He had set this meeting for late afternoon for just that reason.

    "Follow me," Muffuh said, leading Lang deeper into the UN General Assembly lobby, past a series of panels claiming how the UN had tried to stop the Rwanda genocide, to a turnstile facing a bank of elevators.

    "He's with me, Ronald," Muffuh told the security guard by the turnstile, who pushed a button and let them through. "He represents Cameroon."

    The security guard nodded and, it seemed to Lang, smirked. What was so strange, a French white man lobbying for Cameroon? At least the country was no longer an explicit colony.

   Up on the 38th floor there was more guards, in front of a big window looking out over the East River at Brooklyn and Queens and behind them, Long Island all the way to the Hamptons.

"Amina's waiting for you in her office," Muffuh said, heading down a hallway that smelled of the cigars that UN staffers smoked in the stairwell one firedoor away.

   There were in her corner office she was, Amina J. Mohammed in her ubiquitous flowing robe and head scarf, a politically correct exporter of stolen rosewood. Lang aimed to use her guilty knowledge to get her and Guterres' support for another Chinese project in Cameroon, this time in the Anglophone Zone. It should not be difficult.  

    To Be Continued; and see Patreon


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